


探し/Searching

by Mary_0103



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: M/M, Serious problem of OOC here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24877621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_0103/pseuds/Mary_0103
Summary: Two teenagers try to escape from the world's end and the people who yearn for that day.
Relationships: Nakajima Yuto/Okamoto Keito
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not read it seriously as you will find everything in this story is not logical.  
> Not good at English so accept any criticism.  
> Chinese version is posted on LOFTER. 
> 
> Inspiration comes from song 「まちがいさがし」(Spot the Difference Game) - 菅田将暉(Suda Masaki), also my personal unpleasant experience dealing with some Catholics before.

‘It should be undeniable that everyone wants to die, in order to go to heaven. No one can object, you know? ’

‘It’s enough! You are too naughty! But that’s okay, one day you will understand and follow us.’

This isn't the first time he hears these words. 

In a second, he kind of gets their idea while he feels like an invisible hand grabs his neck, tries to squeeze as hard as possible. 

No, it’s nothing about the delusion, he thinks. It’s the eyes of the adults standing in front of him, the bright, shining eyes. 

This kind of eyes should not be suitable for putting on them. 

This kind of eyes is supposed to convey pure hope and happiness. However a coldness creeps on his back and makes him sweat. He sees their happiness but craziness comes out from them, their eyes are super big reaching the limit of ripping. 

That's crazy, too unbelievable. It should not be like this. He thinks. 

He cannot describe the creepiness and scare in a precise way, but he knows he may have something that should not be existed in the world according to the adults; or in another way, they are missing something that he thought was normal which is not for them. 

He should be wearing an oxygen mask yet he cannot breathe. He is supposed laying on bed yet he feels like invisible hands creeping out from his back, grabbing his neck and covering his eyes. 

And he is the only one suffering from this. 

-

Twelve years later, that feeling of extreme suffocation comes to Nakajima Yuto again. 

Although he would say he is not unfamiliar with this feeling; to be exact, he would rather say that he always suffers from slight suffocation, not so physically but mentally. 

  
  


At first, no one really believed it would happen. 

It should be the plot only appears in movies or science fiction, yet it still becomes an undeniable truth that a meteorite is going to crush onto the Earth and completely destroy everything, at least according to the news all around the world and the presidents of different countries. How much time is left after the first formal announcement? A week, and this is now the fourth day. 

How things become more interesting is that there is joy everywhere. He passes many streets, sees many faces and meets many sounds, all he can see are smiles and all he hears are laughing sounds or others excitedly talking about ‘the end’. People are calm, people are happy and almost like they are yearning for this to happen, better to be as soon as possible. 

Yuto is uncomfortable and feeling unsuitable being surrounded by these things. He feels like his brain never functions in a normal way, or he refuses to say in this way so ‘in a common way’: he is scared, the messiness of his mind goes to a peak of his 20-year-life; in addition, he has realised himself literally being the only one having any negative thoughts and emotions towards the situation. 

His voice and his vocal cords refuse to function since the second day. Actually, he can still speak but in this case he is not trying to and is afraid of creating even a single sound. The fact that he is different from others forces him to stop speaking. 

He is different from everyone. Now he already thinks he has lost the ability to judge if something is right or wrong, normal or not. However he is an especially genius to classify if one is in the majority or the minority, since eight years old. 

So nothing is unusual when he packs up all the useful stuff he has in a large backpack and sneaks out of his own home at 9 pm. This reckless move turns out to be perfectly performed, at that time, all his other family members are in one room. He never asks but he knows they are praying and worshipping, so happily and comforting. 

  
  
  


‘In the time should be jolly, towards the time which everyone is desperately waiting for. ’ 

Yuto stands alone in the middle of the road full of people carrying a big backpack. It should be disturbing and annoying that gets people angry but no one does so, he hopes and urges anyone to scold him deep down in his heart but no one does so. 

He can cry right now if he even wants to relax a bit, and then the crying may lead him to lose all water and even blood in his body as if he wants to. However if he cries, he cannot breathe again. 

Screaming internally, he shouldn’t be the one suffering all of this, he shouldn’t be the only one suffering all of this. 

Then he sees a boy appears to be of his similar age not so far away. 

He is at the starting point of the street, the boy is on the other side. 

He stares at him. 

The boy has semi-long hair and some of his hair is tied up. He is shaking. 

He stops at his current position, lifts up his head appearing to be looking at his front. And Yuto expects the boy will also see him by intuition in a second. 

Then, as Yuto thinks so, the boy stares at him. 

Through the streetlights at night, he sees the light inside the boy’s eyes, they’re also watery like the boy keeps crying for a long time until the second their sight meets each other. In the exact same moment, his heart beats fast, his breath turns hurried. Something is different starting from the second they spot each other. 

So Yuto moves his legs, walks towards the end of the crowd and the street, towards the unknown boy. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not trying to offend anyone in reality _(:_」∠)_

‘Can you hear me?’

  
  


He seldom speaks, although others do not agree with this statement: his family and his classmates do not think so at first. 

He would not do rebuttal if they have the opposite thought. He does speak, in fact, he is not speaking less in his life in original. 

“Can you do this favour for me?” they said. “Yes. no problem.” he didn’t want to. 

“I believe you are a well-behaved boy. So, you will listen to me, right?” they said. “Of course.” he tranced not for a long time, answering with a nod. 

“Such a mellow kid! Good job.” they said. He lifted his head up, looking at the people around him. Sometimes they are adults, sometimes they are people of his similar age. He opened his mouth and stopped for a few seconds. 

Something is wrong, but he did not speak, or he was unable to speak. 

  
  
  


Mellow.

People like to use words like ‘kind’, ‘gentle’ to describe him. In the yearbook for his primary school and secondary school graduation, his classmates wrote these kinds of words to appreciate him. However the word he has heard and has been left with the deepest impression is ‘mellow’. 

Similar but different, like when they learned about triangles in Mathematics lessons: having characteristics close to the other one, yet totally unlike in the end even though you’ve proved it. 

‘Kind’ and ‘gentle’ are positive in terms of meaning and he is grateful to receive them as people’s appreciation towards him, although he has noticed they are actually thinking him as ‘mellow’ in his young age. 

  
  


‘Such a mellow kid!’

He was literally in panic when he heard this sentence, heard the word. Not really a bad word, but it feels like out of place. 

When he was young, around eight or nine years old, his parents took him along to visit one of the relatives he doesn’t remember a bit of. The relative, he thinks that’s his uncle according to his faded memory, owned a little dog. 

He sat at the bench in the garden without making any sound, just watched his uncle playing with his dog. Then, his uncle threw a small ball far away; when the dog bit the ball back a while later, uncle said so towards her. His parents came out from the indoor, repeating the same sentence standing behind him. 

In the same moment, the little dog ran to him in a sudden for unknown reasons. When he saw the dog ran in front of him, he cried. Tears fell down continuously and even himself does not remember how the adults stopped him at last. 

Who is the one ‘mellow’, the question popped up in his mind at that time. His parents were talking about the dog, but their eyes looked at him, he saw that. 

He was and he is still scared of this word. 

A dog is mellow as she is, at least that’s what humans think so. He is ‘mellow’ in appearance but he is not in his heart. 

So he looked at the dog, as had a glimpse of his possible future. 

She has the right and freedom to bark, yet no people understand her. On the other hand, he even has no right and freedom to speak, well no one listens to him anyway. 

So he cries a lot. He may notice or he doesn’t, and tears just fall down from his eyes and run through his face, as his body cannot take the pressure and arbitrarily expresses himself, when his brain and mind are still trying his best to bear. 

-

Flowers are beautiful. They are weak, tiny and cute when they do not bloom yet, they bloom with their most vibrant colours and lively appearances. He likes cherry blossoms a lot, he sees lives shining bright even if they bloom for a short time and then die, that’s something fascinating and worth treasuring. 

No one has approved it before, but he thinks he has a kind of artistic sense, maybe helping him to feel these things; or not and it’s just him thinking too much. And he asked his dad, a professional in acting, when he was thirteen. 

“So you are having too much spare time to think of these useless things?” he tranced a little, he may have fought back but he was being interrupted before he could ever speak a syllable. 

“You idiot! There are better things in heaven! Who the fuck even cares about all the bullshits here, we are all suffering here!” 

And his dad squatted down to have the same height as him, two hands pressed on his shoulders, with bright and shining eyes. 

“How can you be so naive? We are just heading to heaven, so don’t you dare to bother me with other useless shit.” his dad spoke in a loud voice, and he noticed that the hands supposed on his shoulders moved upwards, seemed to target his neck. He had no desire to imagine the next move if the talk continued, but at that time he had a rare feeling of suffocation; or not so rare as he would cry. 

Should be not intentional, he thinks. 

And he decides to speak less, as no one hears. He may cry more and he actually does so, so then more familiar with the ‘rare feeling’. 

He is normal, just from appearance. Yet he thinks the God created him, if there is ever a ‘God’, may put a bug in him by accident. He feels like he is different from others, no displacement for his physical body such as his organs but definitely a mental one, related to ideas and thoughts. And no one cares. 

-

Going to the end of his 20 years old, Okamoto Keito is forced to believe the Earth will soon be totally destroyed by a large meteorite. From the day of having the first formal announcement, not much time has left for anyone as it’s now the fourth day. At the end of the seventh day, everything will vanish. 

He is further being forced to call back memories about his dad every time he walks on the streets. Everyone is smiling and laughing, discussing ‘the end’ in an exhilarating way, or not for the news reporters and the presidents of different countries, but he expects they are celebrating in the dark. 

When he was in primary school, the teachers always told students to ‘do self-criticism first before blaming others’, so he does it. 

Oh, Keito realises. So he is the one abnormal. He should be happy and celebrate the end of the world together with the majority, instead he is scared of them. That’s why no one listens to him, he concludes. 

Then he speaks even less. When he notices, it is also the fourth day since he stops himself from speaking or making any sound from his mouth. 

It is 8:30 pm when he walks out from his home, unable to stand his dad partying alone anymore. May not be so necessary as he will die a few days later anyway, yet he packs up the necessities in a backpack. Now he stands on a crowded street alone. Again, all he sees are smiles, and their mouths seem to be reaching to the peak to rip as they smile so hard. 

Where should he stand, especially in a place when he cannot fit in with everything? He looks around and stands still. 

The streetlights are luminous that make his eyes pain, but he still decides to lift his head up. 

A boy is standing on the other end of this street not far away, he guesses that boy has a similar age with him. 

There is an expression he has never seen these days. He is perplexed. His eyebrows wrinkle so much and his eyes are very red like he can be teary in less than a second. Then their sight meets each other. 

They are staring at each other, from the two ends of the street. 

Something is strange in that boy, not the way in which he would be sick watching others being excited, but in a way that he seldom feels.

He feels like he is relieved. 

And he panicked. He does not know how to control his body that he cannot move. 

And the boy moves, he walks towards Keito, passing through the crowd. 

His heart beats fast. 

  
  
  


“Sorry to bother you in a sudden, but I cannot leave someone crying alone.” He further lifts up his head as the boy is taller than him by a few centimetres. The boy takes out tissues from his trousers’ pocket. They now stand extremely close to each other, having an interval of about twenty centimetres. 

Then he realises he is crying again, he didn’t know tears fell down. He mumbles a ‘thank you’ to him. 

“Sorry if I offend you, but you also look like you're almost crying, aren’t you?” He sobs a little and laughs after a long time but not intentionally. 

Keito notices they are the minority. They laugh and cry at the same moment. 

“Thank you for your tissue again,” he finally grabs that small paper. “You would not mind having a new friend in the final days, right?” he questions, taking up the courage he has seldom used to ask the boy in front of him, even though they just met. 

The boy pauses for a second, raising his right hand in front of him. 

“Nakajima Yuto. Nice to meet you.”

“Okamoto Keito. Also nice to meet you.”

Then they shake hands, the strength they have put inside is strong, but they are happy to do that. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long and all are bullshit and I don't know why it's out of control (I mean my English and the story)  
> But OkaJima is good👌🏻👌🏻  
> Give up on my English already  
> Thanks Google docs for its auto-correction and Grammarly for proofreading.


End file.
